* Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for every £500 you've spent.
Well... Per year I'm somewhere just below that... Or at least I hope so...
* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block - several times.
* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again.
Ten? Let me count:
- Warhammer Fantasy
- Warhamemr 40K
- Space Hulk
- Pirates of the Spanish Main
- Triumph and Tragedy
- Our self-made JTT-Ruleset
- Song of Blades and Heroes
- Lord of the Rings
- Star Wars Pod Racing
- Wings of Fury
But less than half of them was bad enough to never play them again...
* Bought an army off EBay
No. Usually I buy unpainted miniatures to paint them myself.
* Sold an army on EBay
Yes, more than once.
* Spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once.
Hmmm... Yes, happened to my imperial Warhammer Fantasy army...
* Tried several different periods and genres.
Yes, a lot of...
* Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height.
Yes, but fortunately I cannot remember much damage.
* Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice.
Yes, I lost a Bloodbowl-Playoff-Game with double 1 for "Go for it".
* Made at least one enemy for life.
I don't need wargaming for that. ;-)
* Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table.
Yes, but when growing older I became calmer.
* Thrown a dice across a room.
Yes after that bloody Bloodbowl game...
* Rebased an army for a different rule set
Not yet. But I fear it and therefore base some units individually every time I start something new.
* Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent.
Yes. And to be honest I remember more than one incident...
* Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision.
Once I lost a whole British cavalry brigade (Napoleonics). Some might say "historically correct" but actually it was a devastating combination of a gallon of stupidity and a shotglass of bad luck.
* Joined a wargamers club.
Yes, this spring finally.
* Bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
I cannot deny that...
* Been to a wargamers show.
* Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them.
Just because our daughter tends to lose them...
* Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates.
Yes... I'm always kind of proud when I manage to finish a unit.
* You have reference books on each period / army you play.
Only one? It's hard to keep my fingers of when I see some unknown ones...
* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you're playing at that moment.
* You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby.
No, since she spends the same for her stitching and sewing stuff. :-)
* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post - then hide it upstairs quickly before your partner sees it. If your partner finds it first, you lie about the contents.
Yes, I get exited. But I don't lie about the contents.
* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)
Actually not, but I started archery after I built an English longbow in a workshop.
* You have played in an unsuitable venue.
Actually not. A garage in winter isn't that unusual, is it?
* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't actually exist).
Well... We have been changing and developing our WW2-ruleset since 1995 and there's no end to appear.
* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods. And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.
* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No for same reasons I gave for packages and spending.
* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look.
Yes, there are some games or genres I can't make friends with like 6mm Stuff, pirate or wild west things etc.
* You have made your own wargames scenery.
Yes, but I don't like scenery building that much.
* You have reached a painting 'wall'.
I had that in times I played only rarely.
* You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.
Same as the question before.
* You have done armies in different scales for the same period.
Yes, I'm just about to start British Paras for WW II in 28mm and I've got some in 20mm already...
* You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.
Sure, every time I look at the blogs and magazines. :-)
* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job.
No, since any paintjob is better than bare metal.
* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge.
Yes, but rarely.
* You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
Only when the other guy was really annoying before.
* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table.
Actually not. In our group we have an other guy for that. :-)
* You have cheered when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point.
Not cheered, but breathed out relievedly sometimes.
* You have lied to your partner about going gaming.
* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.
Not lied, but I tend to soften some things a bit.
* You have made an opponent cry. It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.
* You have reference books on armies you haven't even got (I have books on ECW, ACW, SYW, 30YW yet not one solitary figure for any of these periods).
Only a few...
* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap.
* You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down.
* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities.
Your just reading this on my blog, aren't you?
* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related
Even the novels are either fantastic or historical... So probably yes.
* You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy.
* You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.
Yes, that's exactly what I thought during our last holiday when we drove along an empty country road.
It's frightening how much question I had to answer with any kind of "Yes". So I'm probably proper enough to call me "Wargamer". I hope you enjoyed the answers anyway.